Time Forgot to Heal the Wounds

 I have listened in utter despair as they tried to console and comfort me

They say that time heals all wounds; it levels, it settles

How can time heal wounds that we anticipate before they even happen?

I have listened to people try to remain optimistic while walls crumble

Walls crumble around me and I can feel them closing in, breaking me

Yet the world expects me to put on a fight and hold on a bit more

We were taught to believe that there is a reason for every little thing

These little things that knock us off our feet might be blessings in disguise

I have learned from my utter despair that the script is far from perfect

I have learned that even angels falter at the sight of mere temptations

Don’t forget I am only human; imperfect, broken, and unhinged

So when the stars shine brighter on the world, they dull my sparkle

Maybe I am barely human, barely living, merely existing, and just surviving

Maybe I should take comfort in the infamous quote; time heals all wounds

But how can it heal wounds that sprout from every single decision I make?

How can it heal wounds that hurt so bad I can barely breathe?

How can time heal the wounds that the heavens want to use to teach others?

How can it heal wounds that only she can work around to make me whole again?

Alone

 We thought we would never be alone

We thought we would always have each other

We thought we would find something to hold onto

We thought we would find a way through all this

We thought things would work out our way

 

It was a good dream to believe in from the start

It was supposed to be you and I through it all

I was supposed to be the one for you and you for me

I thought you would notice the effort I put in

I hoped you would notice the pain I went through

 

I hoped you would see it was hard on me too

I thought you would appreciate the effort all the same

I wished you could have been there for me as well

I thought it wouldn’t only be about your needs

I prayed that we could be there for each other all through

 

It was hopeful thinking that you would wipe my tears

It was hopeful thinking that you would be my solace

You had the more urgent needs and mine never mattered

You were in a worse place and you didn’t notice

You had people in your corner and I remained alone

Best Self

I am my best self when I am lost and broken

Isolated from the world and left to fend for myself

I do my best work when I feel cornered and threatened

I push myself harder when I am feeling the lowest

I prefer to rise to the challenge and exceed my wildest dreams

I am my best self when I am broken and unhinged

 

I have felt myself wobble and fall into the abysmal of regret

I have watched my gaze wander and turn into mere fantasies

I have felt my knuckles crack every time I have tried to leave

I have felt my back ache every time I tried to hold on

I have learned from the world, that I am as alone as I can be

I have watched the seasons and still embraced the lone wolf

 

I am my best self when the world is rooting against me

I am my best self when I feel the need to rise up

I do my best work when no one else in the world believes

I keep my best gaze when the world keeps turning around

I lose my best sleep when I feel the night calling

I am my best self when I am lost, or when I am with you

Conceitful Smiles

 

The morning sun stopped scaring me one time

I had seen it all before, sunrises that doomed us

I should have walked where others stood

But I fell where others thrived

Maybe I was to blame, maybe I wasn’t to blame

But dawn never promised me anything anymore

I was done with hoping, while all I wished for broke me

I should have run that first time, but I took it in

I took it all in, the beauty, the grace, and the promises

I should have walked where others stood

But instead, I fell where others thrived

I found myself in the arms of a conceitful soul

I swear I saw ingenuity in her stare

But the promise in her eyes failed to match her heart

Sunsets promised more, I found solace in what broke me

Sunsets promised more, I settled for endings

 

Sincerely Yours

 

I always hoped to have something ideal, but you were my perfection

The mere thoughts of us drinking beer and throwing cans at pigeons

Maybe a little too underwhelming than feeding pigeons and watching them fly

I always figured I would write to you while we watched the stars from a gondola

The silent waters soothing us, and the music in our head intriguing us

You were my ideal perfection and I, your hopeless in love subject

Love was complicated, but I was willing to keep trying

Forever was a bit scary, but I was ready to take on the world

Hope was a dash overrated, but I was destined to pursue you

A goddess with the flight of an angel, and the glow of an incandescent day

A goddess with the intrigue of artistry, and intrigue beyond the stars

I wrote about you every day, and yet watched you smile from a distant

I knew your usual walk, favorite place, and maybe your favorite people

I prayed for you every night, and gracefully sighed at dawn

Another day to adore you, another day for you to intrigue me

You were my best-kept secret, and you refreshed the thought of life

I should have walked up to you and said I liked you

I should have given you my constant writings about you

But you were within my grip as long as I never made my move

Maybe you would be lost forever if I said what I really felt

I wanted you to be my forever, even if it was from a distance

Even when the rain pours, I still see perfection in a world you exist

Yours sincerely, the lost soul yearning to be your forever

It Hurts

I wanted to write about us, tales of a love that never died

I wanted to whisper about the past, words that would paint the future

I wanted to narrate our tales and inspire authors and poets

But I could feel my heart crumble a little when I remembered

I could feel my soul wobble every time I relived our experiences

I could feel my eyes tear in utter disbelief and remorse

I could feel my world grow a little colder, with walls closing in

In a few bad turns, I had lost the love of my life

In a few bad moves, you talked to the gods and I walked with humans

Pure perfection and ultimate imperfections seemed to balance

But the world shook us off its core, and we lost

I finally lost you, this time I lost you forever

I finally lost it all, lost the only thing that ever made sense

and it hurts, the searing pain hurts with the knowledge of the end

Bleed for You

When my lungs shrivel into dust

When I rip my stitches out and watch myself bleed

When my ships sink,

Let me drown in you

Don't pull me to the shore

Let my intents drown in the deep end

Don't try to save me

Let my will flounder

Let my spirit sink

Let my arteries bleed

Let me die in the abysmal of it all

Let my heart splutter for you

Let my soul hover in the challenger deep

Let my nerves tear from my body

Let me fall where you stand

Let me find life in you

Let me lose love with you

Let me breathe and bleed for you